This weekend there was a smaller pop culture/sci-fi/comic convention in town. The big annual comic-con is usually held around Halloween, and this one this weekend was a baby compared to that. I haven’t missed the big convention in 3 years and it’s always a lot of fun, even just walking around and looking at all the different toys/collectibles/art/costumes. Since this weekend has been a complete bust (read: I hadn’t left my apartment since I came home from work on Friday. Last night, I’d actually planned to go out to a pub close by to check out the bands that were playing that night. I showered and put makeup on, and then crawled into bed, intending to power nap and woke up at 11 pm.), I figured I’d go. All the internet self-help posts all say to try and be around people when the loneliness gets too debilitating.
Calling it a disappointment would be an understatement. I paid $15 to get in the door, and once I got the marketplace/convention floor I immediately regretted it. The lack of line for the tickets should have been an indication of how tiny this con was. I didn’t even notice that I had passed the area where they were holding the Q&A for the guests that day, because there were barely any people in that area. I thought the chairs were there for people who got tired from walking around. The booths mostly sold toys and art. All excellent, but nothing piqued my interest. And that was made it all so sad. Nothing there seemed interesting to me. Which has been the story of my life recently. But the what probably made the whole thing annoying was the wrestling ring they had set up on the corner of the convention floor.
Have you ever watched a wrestling match? Any sort of wrestling match? Well, if you’re not a fan, or if you don’t know how it works, let me tell you. Every time the wrestlers hit each other, they stomp their wrestling boots down on the floor of the ring to make loud sound to accompany their fake punches. Watching it on TV is not as bad. As a kid, I was a casual fan of WWE (my sisters were bigger fans and we only had one TV, so I was forced to watch). So I can appreciate it. But I didn’t know how loud and extremely annoying it would be in person. Maybe it’s because I’m old. Maybe it’s because I’m depressed and anxious and impatient. But it was extremely annoying and made me feel like shit. I was in and out in about 15 minutes. That’s $1 for each minute I was there. What an fucking steep price to pay for 15 minutes of annoyance and disappointment.
It was so disappointing I went home and worked on my taxes. And my ex’s taxes. And that sucked less than that con. Because at least doing the taxes told me I was going to get a significant amount for my refund this year. Did that make me feel better? Not in the least. It just made me feel extra fucking lonely.
I still have two month’s worth of laundry to do. And I still have to pack up my whole life without knowing where I’ll be in two months (the next month will potentially still be spent here, in the apartment that I’ve grown to love but I can’t keep).
Oh and my right ankle keeps making a weird ticking noise when I move my foot up. I’ve been listening to it make that noise the whole time I’ve been writing this post. I should really get that checked.